Pastor Chris on the True Purpose of Marriage
Marriage is one of the most important decisions anyone can ever make. According to Pastor Chris Oyakhilome, after salvation, the next greatest choice in life is who to marry. It is a decision that can shape your destiny, determine your peace, and influence your walk with God.
Speaking on the purpose of marriage, Pastor Chris explained that marriage was never meant to be an emotional or social arrangement, but a divine partnership with purpose at its center.
Pastor Chris: Marriage is a calling, not a convenience
In one of his teachings, Pastor Chris asked, “You want to marry Johnny? What has God asked Johnny to do?” The message was simple but profound: the foundation of marriage must be purpose. A marriage built only on emotions, attraction, or social expectations will eventually face emptiness.
“The only reason you’re going to marry Johnny,” Pastor Chris said, “is if Johnny’s got a job from God—and you are going to join Johnny to do that job. If that’s not the case, there’s trouble ahead.”
In God’s design, the man receives a vision from Christ, and the woman becomes a partner in fulfilling that vision. Pastor Chris often emphasizes that marriage should never be based solely on love, money, or family pressure. Instead, it should be a union rooted in God’s purpose and direction.
The foundation of a godly marriage
Pastor Chris teaches that a godly marriage begins with spiritual agreement. “For two people to live in peace and harmony, they must agree spiritually, mentally, and physically,” he explains. A believer should not marry an unbeliever because their lives are guided by different principles. “Just like an elephant cannot marry an ant,” he said, “so also a believer cannot marry an unbeliever.”
The Bible declares in 1 Corinthians 11:3 that “the head of every man is Christ.” This means a man must first receive guidance and instruction from the Lord before leading a family. When Christ is truly the head of the man, he becomes capable of guiding his home according to divine wisdom.
Pastor Chris: Know your purpose before marriage
A key point Pastor Chris highlights is that no one should rush into marriage without first understanding their own purpose in life. “Marriage is not about what you want; it’s about who you need,” he said. “You need someone who will help you fulfill your purpose, while you help them fulfill theirs.”
In Genesis 2:18, God said, “It is not good for man to be alone; I will make him a help meet for him.” Pastor Chris explains that the phrase “help meet” means a partner who complements and strengthens your calling—not just someone to share a house with.
A marriage that aligns with God’s purpose becomes fruitful and fulfilling. But when purpose is missing, life can feel directionless, no matter how successful or comfortable the couple may appear.
Avoiding the traps of a wrong marriage
Many people, Pastor Chris says, fall into marriage for the wrong reasons—loneliness, age, social pressure, or fear of being left behind. These motivations often lead to pain and regret. “Don’t marry because you are lonely or afraid of growing old,” he warns. “Don’t marry because of family pressure or because your friends are getting married. Marry because you want to fulfill destiny.”
A bad marriage can affect every other area of life, but the right marriage can multiply joy, strength, and divine purpose. Pastor Chris urges believers to pray before making this crucial choice. “God knows the best person for you,” he said. “Seek His will, and don’t allow emotions or impatience to cloud your judgment.”
He also cautions against sexual relationships before marriage, explaining that it can block spiritual clarity. “It is very easy to know God’s will when sex is not involved,” he said. “Once it is, you’ve broken His law, and you’ll find it difficult to hear His voice clearly.”
The divine purpose of marriage
Pastor Chris describes marriage as a partnership for divine assignment. God joined Adam and Eve not merely for companionship or reproduction but for stewardship—working together in God’s purpose. “God wasn’t trying to get Adam to reproduce,” Pastor Chris explained. “He was bringing in Eve to fulfill a spiritual purpose.”
Marriage, therefore, is about fulfilling destiny together. It is a union of two people under God, pursuing a common spiritual vision. When couples live this way, their home becomes a place of peace, strength, and ministry.
A call to godly unions
For Pastor Chris, the message is clear: marriage must begin and remain in God’s will. It is not a social experiment or a romantic adventure—it is a calling. “Ignore your age and the pressure for a moment,” he says. “The pressure in a wrong marriage is far worse.”
The purpose of marriage is to glorify God and to fulfill His plan on the earth. It is about working together to advance the Gospel, raise godly children, and influence generations.
As Pastor Chris reminds believers, “Marriage is not about love alone—it’s about vision. Love may start it, but purpose sustains it.”
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